my mother tells me that I don’t need to tell
everyone
everything
I feel in the very moment I feel it.
but these words pound against my ribs,
and not the easily displaced floating ones,
but the true ones, stiff with desire.
so I don’t. I don’t tell you
how when you call me mami or nena,
my legs are as good as spread,
and how sometimes I stand at the Macy’s cologne counter
and smell your cologne, just so
I can remember how it is to take you in
how when I haven’t spoken Spanish in a long time,
the line between Spanish & English is as solid as the Berlin Wall,
but when you speak Spanish to me, you are Ronald Reagan.
& de repente, I’m at work, peering out a window, telling a coworker
dile que está lloviendo y...be careful when driving in the rain
how when these days pass and I don’t hear much from you,
I miss your voice, and could do without this unbearable ache
to wear you inside like a wall decoration
how when you tell me you love my intelligence,
it turns me on more than your hands on my body ever will,
and how we can just stay here all day instead of going out,
because I feel safe here with you and besides,
my books are here
until the words come pouring out
and I’m Harry and you’re Sally
and you’re telling me how funny it is
that you were always too scared to tell me
how you can’t stop looking at my legs because
you can’t stop imagining them wrapped around you
and you could just listen to me talk
for days
everyone
everything
I feel in the very moment I feel it.
but these words pound against my ribs,
and not the easily displaced floating ones,
but the true ones, stiff with desire.
so I don’t. I don’t tell you
how when you call me mami or nena,
my legs are as good as spread,
and how sometimes I stand at the Macy’s cologne counter
and smell your cologne, just so
I can remember how it is to take you in
how when I haven’t spoken Spanish in a long time,
the line between Spanish & English is as solid as the Berlin Wall,
but when you speak Spanish to me, you are Ronald Reagan.
& de repente, I’m at work, peering out a window, telling a coworker
dile que está lloviendo y...be careful when driving in the rain
how when these days pass and I don’t hear much from you,
I miss your voice, and could do without this unbearable ache
to wear you inside like a wall decoration
how when you tell me you love my intelligence,
it turns me on more than your hands on my body ever will,
and how we can just stay here all day instead of going out,
because I feel safe here with you and besides,
my books are here
until the words come pouring out
and I’m Harry and you’re Sally
and you’re telling me how funny it is
that you were always too scared to tell me
how you can’t stop looking at my legs because
you can’t stop imagining them wrapped around you
and you could just listen to me talk
for days
